Podtacular 220: Halo 2 Farewell: Campaign Tales

March 24th, 2010

Hosts: Dust Storm, GLewis, Brent Gamer & Kete

Halo 2 Campaign Tales

bporce

Should I get Halo 2?

Jona panda lord (the AA Battery)

Hey guys here's my tale from the foxy hole. only eight @ the time I waited for my dad who waited all night to get halo 2. Arriving home he told me they ran out :(. The next morning I awokened to the halo 2 theme song ringing on the tv. I played the whole day & when my dad got home from work he asked how the game was & I replied with" wow its even better than Super monkey balls" no homo.

Big gooba fish

Hi podtacular it's the big gooba fish again, back from the imaginary dead. I heard we were doing a callins and tales from the foxhole show centered around halo 2 and I jumped at the mention. I played halo 2 ALOT. I have put more hours into that game than I can count! I didn't have live at the time though so I ended up playing the campaign about fifty times over.
Anyway! My tale comes from the campaign of halo 2 in the level metropolis. I was fighting through the bridge of tankage with a... Tank, and went into the tunnel at the end. I came to the section where you fight covenant In the subway and I kept on fragging trucks. I killed a group of jackels and went on foreward. I noticed something in the corner of my eye that seemed strange. I looked over at it and saw a jackel stuck in a looping fall animation floating In midair between the truck and the wall. It stayed like that until I walked into it, killing my character, glitching out the physics and crashing the game.
That's all I have for now and remember: don't go swimming in the metropolis ocean... You might get Attacked by a BIG GOOBA FISH!!

Maximo Notts

Hello once more. A tale from the bygone era of Halo 2, when playing that mission on the bridge (I've forgotten the name now) in New Mombasa, I managed to take a Banshee and fly right to the top of the bridge supports. My friend grabbed a Wraith and hid just behind the crest of the ridge on the bridge. He would then try to take out the remaining Covenant armour. I would then tell him were to fire next, just like calling out co-ordinates for artillery. Not a great tale but just a reminder of the good old days. Keep up the great work and keep on fragging exams and coursework.
P.S I'm writing a piece of English literature coursework and after listening to episode 217, I'm going to name some the characters after the hosts on the show. So Greg, Dusty and Brent have all got a place but if anyone else wants a spot just announce it on the next show.

Troubled Party

Hey Its Troubled Party your flight attendant here to bring you the superfantastical basic rundown of the Halo 2 campaign for all you noobies that haven't played the game. This should be read first in order to allow the newer fans to understand the context of the other submissions. This also shoots for the longest submission ever :D
OK that was a test If the person reading this said smiley face or flat out ignored it instead of saying colon capital d then he must give up rank and pass his title on to the next man in line. If not then you have passed my test and you get to savor the amazing story that is about to unfold.
OK so you see this sexy elite (aka capin split-jaw) walk in to high charity with some sexy golden armor. You could see he was sad but he was trying to explain to the prophets (which are basicly old grandpas in their wheelchairs that float) that the covenant race was not at fault when the humans took over the ring and destroyed it. But the grandpas decided that he was wrong and called him a hieratic and took away his pretty gold armor which was fashionably unwise seeing what they were wearing. Someone please call “what not to wear.” anyways they blame him that the great journey wont happen with him around.
Then it shows the master chief with Sargent Johnson getting medals. Lord hood give them medals as we are introduced to commander Miranda keys, captain keys daughter who received an award for her fathers behalf I think it was most bad*** way to die from the Master chief which must have been traumatizing knowing Master chief was next to her. But she played it off well. Guess its a woman thing.
Then the covenant come to be party crashers and mater chief didn't want any of that so he killed them. And he took a sea urchin bomb and blew it up. However in the urchin explosion a covenant cruzer takes the grandpa of regret to new Mombasa in Kenya. I'm assuming the grandpa regrets that he could never fun fast and plans to kill the Kenyans but that's another story. So master chief heads to earth and kicks butt in the best level in halo history and then fights a spider thingy. Don't worry though he could have taken the spiders gun if he made a banshee play tag long enough.
But then grandpa of regret knew master chief was coming and space jumped which is like teleporting except everything dies around you, poor Kenyans couldn't run fast enough curse you grandpa of regret curse you.
Then the master chief gets pissed and decides to take out the grandpa of regret while Johnson got lost in his walk-though and needs to find the index which helps him get the the next halo which is the exact same thing as the first. I guess the forerunners liked to ctrl+C and ctrl+V.
We meet up with the hierarchs which say he isn't a hieratic but still blame him for halos downfall. Then they offer him a job and you know what they say ]give a man a job and he'll work the rest of his life, give a job a man and you have accomplished nothing.” the job is the position of the arbiter which is like a hit-man basicly, so they tell him to kill a heretic that likes holograms a little too much. Which is a criminal offense. Then the split-jaw meets 343 guilty spark which suffers from multiple personality disorder but capn split-jaw liked him anyway. Then some other boring stuff happens so the continent rush to the new halo to answer grandpa regrets call although we all know he should have just texted, but seeing he is a grandpa he barley knows how to work the dang thing. The master chief got there first however and kills him by punching him in the face while riding on his wheelchair so Miranda keys needs to give her medal back, grandpa regret clearly deserves it now. Anyways after that master chief meets tentacle boy and cortana starts to feel the unease of not bringing her chastity belt. *cough* foreshadowing *cough*
grandpa regrets death makes the alien races pissed off and they take the elites and tell them that their years of wart wart warting the humans into piles of ash is not good enough anymore and decide to give the job to the fantastic Jerome impersonator tartarus who holds a ban hammer beta that duels as a magnet. Chick magnet that is *boom boom chhhh* split-jaw is ordered to find halos index along with Johnson who cant seem to flip pages fast enough. Then Tartarus tells split-jaw that he is supposed to kill of the elite species for out fashonizing the rest of the covenant as he throws split-jaw down a hole just like a THIS IS SPARTA moment. Then tentacle boy introduces master chief and split-jaw And explains to split-jaw that the great journey will kill all flood food. Yes all their noms, humans, covenant, hot-dogs, Oreos you name it its gone. Then grave mind sends split-jaw and Master chief to stop the great journey. Master chief looks to find the grandpa of truth and leaves cortana behind although you really don't need her, all she is, is an overly snobby version of navi and we all know how great she was to be around. Anyways she said she will explode high charity if tartarus activates the new halo.
Splitjaw gets some covenant to kick some brute butt and eventually meet up with tartarus and tell him that what the world needs now is love sweet love because its the only thing that there's just too little of. Tartarus however says screw that and activates the ring while Johnson and Master chief shake and bake and kill tartarus while Miranda takes the blue uranium key out of the machine. But instead of turning off the rings they just go to a safe state-ish place and need to be activated at the ark. Hood asks what the master chief what the is gonna do and he says finish the fight. At this point I threw my controller though my parents TV and yelled towards the heavens in an angry rage “why must yo do this to me!”. Then I went on live and lost what I learned in school. :D
On the upside:
master chief went on to the xbox 360 with record breaking sales (moral is if your a cyborgy person with guns you rock)
split-jaw learned to cope with is facial structure and is now working for vogue magazine (moral is if life gives you lemons you squirt them into life's eyes and you tell him to get it right or bad things will happen!)
Johnson got a box of smokes (moral is smoking kills *cough* foreshadowing *cough*)
tartarus' personal diary was found by his time traveling son and held the secret to tartar sauce which he told the people of the past. (Moral is that ban hammers don't get you paid they get you laid)
Cortana didn't really have anything good happen she forgot her chastity belt *cough* *cough* (moral is …..... you can figure it out)
grandpa mercy got to live from mercy (moral is to choose your name wisely)
and my moral if you have to write a paragraph make sure that its funny or else everyone will cry and no one wants that
BLEEP BLOOP achievement unlocked worlds longest submission.
Troubled party out.

The Gamer28

Hey Podtac, It's, well you know, with a Halo 2 Campaign submission. I'm thinking while I'm doing this submission, so I might ramble on like I am now. Most of you are probably thinking, "Get on with it!" -Still rambling- Moving on. So I was on some level that I have completely forgotten what it's called, and I got so far out of the map, that when the hunter shot at me and the shot hit the barrier in front of me, and stopped. Another time was when I broke into a wraith on the level with all the snipers in the forest with a lot of land forms, and destroyed Sergeant Johnson and his Gauss Warthog. He yelled something that sounded Spanish and died. I shot everyone else, and somehow I just blew up. I might submit another one, which if I do, you'll read it before this one, because I have more, but I can't remember.

Kyle Nicholls

I started playing through the Halo 2 campaign again, on normal, and just like Halo:CE and Halo 3 once I get the the first level with the flood I just want to cut my Xbox off and quit playing. Right now I'm on the level where you play as the Arbiter and you're on a big floating forerunner elevator going underground. This level is such a pain but I still love it. Flood constantly jumping down on me from above, me always trying to predict their locations and failing every time. Some games are frustrating in a good way, and Halo 2 is certainly one of those games. -NamesTwister

xDeStef117x

Hey guys it is xDeStef117x with a halo 2 campaign tale from the foxhole. I was playing on Cairo station (the first mission) I was looking out the big glass wall in the 1st hanger and was watching the station explode and my game lagged out and when i could see again i was out side in space and could walk around. It was really cool! Keep on fagging noobs who live on purple twinkies and eat fart juice out of their belly button that are also atomic nuclear bombs of mass destruction. That kill anything that is long and eatable.

Bomb116

Hey guys, its my first submission for the regular show. Ever since I have been old enough to comprehend halo,I have wondered how the flood survived the halo event. If you could answer this, it would be much appreciated. Keep on fraggin noob tubers with red dots......

Lone Soldier332

Heya. It's Lone Soldier332 with a tale from Halo 2. I was playing on the level Metropolis on Heroic. I was originally planning on getting the Scarab Gun near the end of the level, but something much more epic happened instead.
I had taken the Scorpion across the bridge, and I'd just killed the marines that follow you, in order to prevent them from destroying the last Banshee. I destroyed all the vehicles, and left the last Banshee, and let it follow me. Normally, it just shoots at you and then turns around. But instead, it boosted into my chest. Just at the last second, I'd pressed X and boarded the Banshee. I survived, and the wind blew the Banshee out of the tunnel and back outside. I jumped out of the Banshee, and like a bullet, I flew all the way back across the bridge in less than five seconds. I died before I hit the ground, but I was laughing and shouting louder than ever at the epic Master Chief Bullet.
There's my Halo 2 tale. Keep up the good work on the show. Keep on sitting down.
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